Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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