I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just want to make out with him forever
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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