I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Pants 0. Shit 1.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
