I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
