yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
