that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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