do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just gift wrapped bread.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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