we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
did i just pee glitter
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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