There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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