I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
