i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
They are going to name an STD after you.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize