okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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