Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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