True but thats because hes a fetus.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
