In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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