did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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