you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
