i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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