just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
