We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
