just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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