My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you traded sex for a burrito?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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