did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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