I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
