all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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