i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
