I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize