Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
