We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
