Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
