I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
