i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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