yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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