I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
