this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
only you would photoshop your dick
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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