if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
