my mouth tastes like poor choices
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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