I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
