I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
