New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
