Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
