i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
