WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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