Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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