I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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