Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
BRING THE BAGELS
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
