I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
