sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
