Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We need to get me chipped asap
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