Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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