I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
