omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
soo... how was my night?
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