Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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