Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
