Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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