Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Randomize
