As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize