My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Shame is for Republicans.
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