just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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