WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
