Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
