Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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