ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
