Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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