Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
