Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
