Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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