The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
