Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
