therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
