Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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