i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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