i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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